Starfish Rising: Facing down the nightmare

Dreams aren't all fluffy pink clouds and angel song. In fact, thinking about what might go wrong if you dare to dream can be a huge block to getting started. Who wants to live their worst nightmare? There is that saying - Be careful what you wish for, that it may come true. So sometimes it seems safer to stay in the ordinary world and avoid the risk of failure, or face the fear of success. I'd like to say that these fears are never realised, but that is just not true - as I discovered recently.

When I was writing my book I had a huge gremlin fear that someone would write a negative review of it on Amazon. You know those vitriolic customer reviews written by people who are clearly using their porn star pen name and whose comments are equally - well - not what you want to read? And the ones that are less extreme but still hurtful, since they seem to hold a version of the truth? I don't know why this was my fear, it could have been anything I suppose. A fellow coach dissing it, my mum hating it...whatever. But it was this thing that stood out for me. Of course I dealt with it, like the capable and resourceful coach that I am, and did not allow it to hold me back from living out my dream. My glorious dream, that was every bit as wonderful as I had hoped for. And in due course I got lots of wonderful feedback and great reviews and "thank you" emails from the four corners of the globe, so I decided that perhaps I wasn't going to be tested on this particular front.

And then there it was. My nightmare in the flesh, or rather in the authority of print. Dragging all those lovely complimentary Amazonian stars right down. It was not a good moment. Except it was a moment of gleeful glory for my gremlin. See what happens? - it was squealing - you put yourself out there and people want to rain on your parade. It's so not worth it, is it? And he's right, you know...I mean, who did you think you were, setting yourself up as some kind of guru?

I had a choice at that moment. We always do. I could settle painfully into a victim mode and ring everyone I knew to get a sympathy vote, tell me the review was a nonsense, praise me to the high heaven...whatever it took to make me feel better. Or I could do something subtly different. I could ring a couple of the folk who had already said how much they liked and respected my book and ask them if they would try again to post their review onto Amazon (it can be a bit erratic at times and throw you out before you have quite finished). And that's what I did. Not specifically because I wanted to drown out or deny the negative - it is still there, and the author is perfectly entitled to his views - but because it was important that my book gets read by the people who really do need it and would benefit from it. I know from personal experience how one extreme review can put a potential reader off. Balance is a good thing, and I was determined to take the positive intention and the learning from the bad comments. But what I remembered was that not everyone will like what you say or how you say it. If you have something of value to say, it is your responsibility to ensure that you reach the people that you must reach.

My nightmare was just a small part of the dream and a necessary one. It was a test. It was an opportunity to take unwelcome feedback. It was a call to action to stand up for what I have to offer and be proud of that. It was a gift, in fact. Once you dare to dream you enter the world of the hero and that is populated with demons and obstacles as well as angels and rich rewards. And it is how you face the demons and the obstacles that tell you what kind of hero you are becoming, and how you will be amonsgt the angels and the rich rewards.

Sure enough, the universe rewarded me for passing my test and in the days that followed - no coincidence I am sure - a number of other great reviews popped up. Someone will always rain on your parade. That's a really good thing and and it keeps you from complacency and makes sure you are constantly striving for excellence. And through it all, it's your dream, that you create, and no-one can take that away from you. Not ever.